Truth Found in A Bottle

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

 Psalms 56:8 

There are many times in life and through our struggle when we cry out to God, and we feel like He does nothing to help. It becomes hard for us when we don't feel Him or when we don't see our circumstance change. But the above verse describes God's true love for us.

God not  only hears our cries, He puts our tears in a bottle and saves them. This verse is describing how much He cares about your situation. He loves us so much that He promises to never forget your pain. 

The more I talk to you guys, the more I see so  much pain. Today, I just want to reaffirm God's love for you. I want to remind you that He is standing by your side and He is holding you so tight. I know it's tough when we can't feel or see Him. It gets harder when we cry out and see no change in our lives. But those are times we need to rely on His Word.

I pray that you find peace in knowing that God is right by your side as you walk through illness, depression and life's pains. I pray that you will look over this scripture, even write it somewhere you will see it often. Let the verse get into your heart. Because even though we may not feel the effect of Christ's love right in our very moment of crying out, the truth is, He is there catching every tear and saving them. He is putting your pain in a precious bottle, and He promises to never forget them.

Last night I heard this song. I think its a raw look at how I felt in that very moment. With pain and life's frustrations, I was able to take a second to cry out to God and just let all of it go. I have a peace in knowing that it is in His hands. He carries it all in His bottle. I hope that as you listen to the song, you are able to do the same. 

With love and hope,

Jesalyn

Pushing Through the Crowd

I love our youth ministry.There has been many times when we go to concerts or events where there is a crowd right before the stage. As soon as it is permissible, our youth usually rush the stage to get to the front. I am sure growing up I did the same, but now, as a leader, the only reason I have to push through the crowds is when I have to get to someone. Have you ever had to push through a crowd to get to one person or even to just experience the one-on-one feel with the person on the stage?

The other morning I woke up and the first thought that came to my mind is, "I did it". I realized I finally pushed through. There are times in our lives when we have to push through our sickness to reach the healing God has promised us. There is still months of physical therapy and even a chance of recurrence, but I know by faith that I am healed. Over this process, I have had the opportunity to talk to so many young people who have struggled with sickness, depression and life's pain. And I have been praying for you guys nonstop.

I want to bring you back to the biblical story of the woman with the issue of blood. She was sick for twelve years. In that time, people who were sick lived on the outside of town, unable to live normal lives. Their society looked down on them and labeled them outcasts. The more of you I talk to, the more I see the loneliness and hopelessness that is brought on by your struggle. But I want to remind you of one thing. We aren't called to live by society's labels or even the labels we give ourself.

This woman had to push through the same people that labeled her as an outcast, she had to push through her twelve year mentality of her sickness, depression and pain. And thats just what we need to do. It's not easy. In fact, its probably one of the hardest things you will have to do in your sickness. But it's worth it once you touch the hem of Jesus' garment.

Jesus tells her, that her faith has healed her. She didn't live by societies label, she didn't live by her sickness. Her actions prove that she knew she would be healed. Our actions should speak the same way.

So today I pray as you touch the screen and read this prayer, you prepare for your healing. I truly believe that healing is going to flow through each and everyone of you. All we need to do is walk by faith and reach the hem of our Savior.


Heavenly Father,
I pray that right now, Your healing power will overflow in us. As we reach out for our miracle, allow us to see Your promises. I pray that You show up in a new way. Renew our hearts and our minds. I pray for the chains of depression to be broken right now. Allow Your joy to overflow. God, show them Your purpose. I pray for the sick to be healed. For tumors, aches, breaks, colons, epilepsy, intestinal and stomach issues, asthma to be taken off of these young bodies in the name of JESUS. By Your stripes we are healed. I pray for the pains of live that have consumed so many to be taken. I pray for deliverance, for protection and for strength. Allows us to touch Your hem. As we push through our society's labels and as we push through the doubt in our mind, meet us here. Release Your power. In Jesus name. Amen.


I hope that tonight you receive your miracle. I hope that you will push through the doubt and the labels, and see yourself as healed.
With love and hope,
Jesalyn


Mat 9:20-22; Mar 5:25-34; Luk 8:43-47

Thorn in The Flesh

A Thorn in the flesh is defined as a chronic infirmity, annoyance or trouble in one's life. There are different theories about what Paul's specific "thorn" was, but most agree that it was a physical sickness or infirmity.

I think sometimes when we are sick, we get so frustrated because we pray so much. We have people lay hands on us. We walk in faith, knowing that God will take our sickness away. It's clear that Paul did the same. The scripture says that  he not only prayed, but pleaded with the God three time. Just to remind you, Paul was one of the early church apostles that went around healing people and performing miracles. The miraculous life was his lifestyle, and yet, God did not take his sickness away.

God then tells Paul that in his weakness, God is the strongest. Instead of being depressed about his illness, Paul begins to boast in it. He recognizes that because of God, he is strong. Because he is weak, God's power will rest in him.

Today is day 13 in my recovery. My arm is in a sling, and I can't move it much. Despite my arm, today is the first day I feel strong enough to get out of bed by myself. I even went into the kitchen and warmed up my dinner alone. I wish I could express how happy I am and how thankful I am to be getting physically stronger. I thank God so much, that He has been my strength through this. If I did not rely on His strength, I do not think I would be as determined as I am today to see my full healing. I thank God for His love and for His strength that  He pours on me.

Through God's grace, you are strong. Instead of becoming depressed, allow yourself to look around and be thankful Christ's power is in you. He has brought you this far because of His strength. If we rely on our weakness, we are not going to get far. But if we trust in His strength in us, we are able to move mountains. We don't have to be happy that we are sick, but we can be happy that in our weakness, Christ's strength perfects us. Today, I pray you allow yourself to be thankful for His love and strength for you.
With hope and love,
Jesalyn


2 Corinthians 12:7-10

⁷ And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸ Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The Scars That Show I Belong to Jesus

"For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus." Coming from Galatians 6:17, this is the tattoo written down my back. In June, I found out that the tumors were back. In that moment, it was very difficult to even understand how I would get through this again. The first time was hard enough, and this time I would come in knowing what I would be fighting for a second time.

The first few days of finding out that my tumor was back were some of the hardest times of my life. I have been walking around healthy for two years, and to imagine going through this again was hard. I knew that the testing would begin, and that the doctors would begin to start monitoring its growth.

Although the pain was sporadic, I was able to manage it quite well. Through this time, the scar on my arm from the first bone tumor and the scar on my side from my ovarian tumor kept me focused. There were times when I would spend crying in the shower over the situation, but when I would look in the mirror, I would see the scars.

These were the visual markers that reminded me that I could do this. It reminded me that I belong to Jesus. If He got me through this before, He will get me through this again. During this time, I decided to get this verse tattooed down my spine. It reminded me of who I was and who Jesus is to me.

As I continued my every day life, my fear began to pass. I had so many people praying for me, and I knew that I would be restored to my fullest. In October, I began to get really sick. I became weak, and the pain began to take over my body. It became apparent that we needed to act quickly, and on November 7th, I had my surgery.

Right before I went into surgery, my mother took this picture of me. I think it will be my favorite picture of all time. As I looked at this picture before going in, it put me at ease, knowing that I am His. And as I look at this picture now, I know that no matter what happens, I belong to Jesus.

Today I am home, and I am feeling lucid enough to write. The day before going into surgery, Pastor Ron told me to meditate on scriptures. And in the hospital thats what I did, I recited them, I read them, I prayed them.

I hope that as you read this, you are reminded of some of your favorite scriptures. I pray that as you go through your sickness and your pain, you remember to grab onto His Word. I pray that you remember that you are His. And I pray you continue to fight with strength.

With hope and love,
Jesalyn

To Be or Not To Be, That is The Question.

"I wonder if David ever felt like giving up" These were the first thoughts that came into my head as I woke up this morning. For the past month I have been reading about the life of king David. I think that it's cool that there are two books written about him in the Bible, and then books written from him to God. It's like you can read his mind and heart as you read through his story.

Although he became known as the king after God's own heart, he started off as a young boy with a calling. As he grew, he had to flee just to save his life. I am sure the time between killing the giant and becoming king really made him question his calling. Why would the future king of Israel have to hide in the wilderness? He went from having favor with the king, living in the palace with a really sweet job, to fleeing for his life in the wilderness.

In this time, I wonder if David ever thought about giving up. I wonder if he ever woke up feeling the way I feel. I am sure we all go through this thought process. The truth is, even right now, I have to take steps back from typing, because I want to throw up. Life is hard. Sickness is hard. And there are always times where we just want to throw in the towel, and give up.

But then I go back to the question I asked myself earlier. I am sure that there were times David wanted to give up. But the key is that he was a man after God's heart. When you are after God's heart, you know that giving up isn't even an option.

I think it's fine to have thoughts like this every once in a while. Sickness is hard, and there are times when we feel like we just don't want to deal with it any more. But in the end, we need to remember to go after God's heart and God's plan for our lives. If David gave up while he was in hiding, he might not have ever become king. If we give up now, we might not ever see the glorious outcome God has for us.

So today I pray that in your times of feeling weak, God gives you the strength to keep going. In your times of wanting to give up, I pray you remember God's promised you. Remember that we are human, and physical and mental pain does hurt and take a tole on us. But also remember that God is God and we need to let Him be that. Because when we let go, we forget that giving up is even an option.
With hope and love,
Jesalyn

Even If

Heavenly Father,
Today I pray for faith to fall upon the sick. I pray for strength upon us. I pray that You give us a renewed mind, knowing that You are God. I pray that Your love will overflow our hearts. I pray for miracles to be released. I pray for the power within us to continue to fight. Allow us to trust You and Your ways. Help us to not question Your path for us. But most of all, I pray that we can look at our lives and know that You are good. I pray that in times of weakness, we praise You. But most of all, I pray that if healing does not come the way we want them to, we will remember that You are always good. You are God. We praise You for this. Guard us and give us peace.

I love you so much,
Jesalyn

Every day is a miracle. God is working through your life every day. I pray that in your journey, you can remember that He is the Healer, He is All Powerful. In your moments of waiting for your miracle, know that God is still good. And we are to praise Him till the very end. So lets praise Him. Lets fight and stand strong as we hold on to His promises for our lives.

This song touched me today. I pray you listen to it and I pray it becomes your heart as well.
With hope and love,
Jesalyn

Fear Factor

Fear Factor is the show that started in the early 2000's. I remember watching it and wondering if I would be able to do the stunts. There were some stunts that seemed doable. But others that would make my skin crawl. The final person left standing would win $50,000 and hear the iconic words "evidently, fear is not a factor for you."

As my surgery becomes more near, I find myself becoming more afraid. I am being seen my an awesome surgeon who specializes in these tumors. And with a different doctor, comes different methods of preparation. One of the tasks that I have is to go online and complete these interactive Kaiser videos about what's going to happen to me before, during and after surgery. Knowing the intricacies and risks have caused me to have moments of fear that begin to consume my mind, if I choose to not refocus. 

My favorite verse of all time is Psalms 27:1, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall I fear. The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid." In moments of fear, I know I need to remember that God is my stronghold. The dictionary defines a stronghold as "a place that has been fortified so as to be protected if against attack" A few days ago, one of my youth had a dream I was having surgery in San Francisco, and they saw angels and God's presence in the operating room. They told me this before I announced that I would be having surgery and before anyone knew it would be in San Francisco. 

Moments like this help me to know that God is really protecting me, and He is doing the same for you. Yes, sickness is scary. With sickness comes hospitals, medication and surgery. But God is our protective wall. He is not going to let anything through that will devastate us. Because of this we have nothing to fear.

Tonight I pray that if there is any fear in your heart and mind, you give it to God. Allow yourself to see the walls of protection around you. Allow yourself to feel the peace that God has placed all around. God is our stronghold, we have noting to fear. Let us pray for strength. I want to get to the end of my life and hear God say, "evidently, fear is not a factor for you". And I pray you strive for the same. 

With hope and love, 

Jesalyn