Sunday, November 4, 2012

Fear Factor

Fear Factor is the show that started in the early 2000's. I remember watching it and wondering if I would be able to do the stunts. There were some stunts that seemed doable. But others that would make my skin crawl. The final person left standing would win $50,000 and hear the iconic words "evidently, fear is not a factor for you."

As my surgery becomes more near, I find myself becoming more afraid. I am being seen my an awesome surgeon who specializes in these tumors. And with a different doctor, comes different methods of preparation. One of the tasks that I have is to go online and complete these interactive Kaiser videos about what's going to happen to me before, during and after surgery. Knowing the intricacies and risks have caused me to have moments of fear that begin to consume my mind, if I choose to not refocus. 

My favorite verse of all time is Psalms 27:1, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall I fear. The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid." In moments of fear, I know I need to remember that God is my stronghold. The dictionary defines a stronghold as "a place that has been fortified so as to be protected if against attack" A few days ago, one of my youth had a dream I was having surgery in San Francisco, and they saw angels and God's presence in the operating room. They told me this before I announced that I would be having surgery and before anyone knew it would be in San Francisco. 

Moments like this help me to know that God is really protecting me, and He is doing the same for you. Yes, sickness is scary. With sickness comes hospitals, medication and surgery. But God is our protective wall. He is not going to let anything through that will devastate us. Because of this we have nothing to fear.

Tonight I pray that if there is any fear in your heart and mind, you give it to God. Allow yourself to see the walls of protection around you. Allow yourself to feel the peace that God has placed all around. God is our stronghold, we have noting to fear. Let us pray for strength. I want to get to the end of my life and hear God say, "evidently, fear is not a factor for you". And I pray you strive for the same. 
With hope and love, 
Jesalyn

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