The first few days of finding out that my tumor was back were some of the hardest times of my life. I have been walking around healthy for two years, and to imagine going through this again was hard. I knew that the testing would begin, and that the doctors would begin to start monitoring its growth.
Although the pain was sporadic, I was able to manage it quite well. Through this time, the scar on my arm from the first bone tumor and the scar on my side from my ovarian tumor kept me focused. There were times when I would spend crying in the shower over the situation, but when I would look in the mirror, I would see the scars.
These were the visual markers that reminded me that I could do this. It reminded me that I belong to Jesus. If He got me through this before, He will get me through this again. During this time, I decided to get this verse tattooed down my spine. It reminded me of who I was and who Jesus is to me.
As I continued my every day life, my fear began to pass. I had so many people praying for me, and I knew that I would be restored to my fullest. In October, I began to get really sick. I became weak, and the pain began to take over my body. It became apparent that we needed to act quickly, and on November 7th, I had my surgery.
Right before I went into surgery, my mother took this picture of me. I think it will be my favorite picture of all time. As I looked at this picture before going in, it put me at ease, knowing that I am His. And as I look at this picture now, I know that no matter what happens, I belong to Jesus.
Today I am home, and I am feeling lucid enough to write. The day before going into surgery, Pastor Ron told me to meditate on scriptures. And in the hospital thats what I did, I recited them, I read them, I prayed them.
I hope that as you read this, you are reminded of some of your favorite scriptures. I pray that as you go through your sickness and your pain, you remember to grab onto His Word. I pray that you remember that you are His. And I pray you continue to fight with strength.
With hope and love,
Jesalyn
Jesalyn, thank you so much for posting this. It was such a beutiful reminder to me that our trials is God's evidence that I am his. I am the mother of two beautiful babies and am expecting my third and I was recentpy diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I have gone through one major surgery and will return for a second once our daughter is born. Thank you again, I hope your doing well.
ReplyDelete